These two songs are guaranteed to make me smile. Guaranteed. 

They could not be any more different, but when I hear them on the radio I immediately smile. A big smile, that I can't hide. And I can always use more smiles.

6 Reasons To Keep On Living

1. I'm going to Disneyland in three weeks.
2. I want babies!
3. My roommates wouldn't have dinner for next semester.
4. I love Christmas.
5. I still need to do my "Julie & Julia" experiment.
6. I want an Australian Shepherd.

Portfolio

For our final project for photography, we had to create a portfolio of 6 shots all with a central theme. The theme I chose was "Hands", and here are my shots. I got a fantastic grade on them too.

Good Gravy...

It's been way too long since I've posted anything. I don't have any scintillating thoughts, but there's been a lot going on lately.

I went home for about a week for Thanksgiving and got to see my entire family. It was so great to see everyone, especially my cousin Allie and her precious new baby.

 Here's the entire family. My mom asked me to bring down my camera, but without a tripod it didn't work so well. Plus it's a crappy angle.

This is a picture I took of my cousin's gorgeous baby. I pretty much could not stop kissing her. 

So I went back to school and worked constantly on final projects and studying for exams. I'll post my photography portfolio pictures in a next post. 

A week before finals, my sister got married! No pictures yet...it will be a few more weeks before they're ready. I still can't quite believe she's married! She's been one of my best friends and role models forever. She has done so much for me and I love her so much! I'm so happy that she's happy. 

I survived finals, and now I'm home for my favorite month of the year. I have it on good confidence that one of my Christmas gifts from Santa is a trip to Disneyland with my roommates Tori and Paige. So I'm sure pictures of that will be forthcoming.

Gratitude

So I guess I will jump on the bandwagon and write a post about all the things I am thankful for this lovely holiday season.

1. My best friend's wisdom. She wrote me a journal for my birthday last year that I read frequently; it's almost though she's here with me when I read that. Anyway, I came across this paragraph today. She wrote it when I was going through major, major boy trouble. "Whatever else you may feel, don't ever feel regret for putting yourself first. You deserve the very best-so don't you dare settle, however hopeless and bleak the sea looks at the moment." And let me tell you, it looks pretty darn hopeless and bleak. But this woman is full of so much wisdom and love and intelligence. Plus, I swear she has ESP. Every time I read the journal I find something that helps for what I'm going through at the time.
2. My mom. I swear, and I'm not being biased, that I have the greatest mom in the world. She's always there to listen to me, to give me advice, to dry  my tears, and make me laugh.
3. On that note, I'm grateful for my brother. I don't see him enough or talk to him enough, but I still love him more than life.
4. The handmade quilt from my great-grandmother. It keeps me warm on these cold Flagstaff nights that will only get colder, and reminds me of her and her love. Every time I go to sleep, I picture her smiling down at all of us from heaven.  :)
5. Diet Coke. I know, I know. Every post related to things I am grateful for always includes Diet Coke. But if you rolled your eyes, you just don't know me that well. I am my mother's daughter, and I don't think there's anything better than a cold Diet Coke.
6. Pink lipstick. It's pretty fun every once in awhile.
7. And how could I forget nail polish?
8. Food! Every time I make dinner I think about how lucky I am to be making a nice meal. I never have to worry about having food, because even though money gets tight, we always have food in the apartment.
9. Music. Right now, it's U2, Aerosmith, The Beatles, and The Eagles. I don't know what I would do without music.
10. Books! Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Oscar Wilde, even J.K. Rowling. Sometimes there's nothing better than sitting in bed, reading and escaping the world.
11. Medicine. Even though I hate taking my pills, and hate budgeting money, calling in the prescriptions, and buying them every month, I would be in a lot worse shape without them. And heaven knows that would not be good.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. Henry David Thoreau

This week's photo assignment was to shoot a photo inspired by a song.
Take a little listen: U2's "Walk On"

I read an article the other day about our faults. We all have them. Some of us are just better at acknowledging them and examining them better than others.

And right now, I'm sure thinking a lot about one of my faults. It's a pretty big one. It's gotten me into trouble before. Emotional trouble.

I trust. I can't help it. I trust easily. Despite everything that's happened in my life, I always see the best in people. It takes a lot for me to dislike someone, to find faults in them. Because, unfailingly, I look for the positives. I trust them. I turn a blind eye to everything hurtful, everything questionable. I can't help it. I can't stop trusting.

And I get hurt. Often. Because I let my guard down. Often. I tell someone something, personal, about my past, or about my feelings, and they take advantage of it. They stomp on it. They cut it into tiny pieces and throw it in the dumpster, along with my heart. I don't have time to recover.

But yet I still can't stop. I continue making friends, I continue talking. Sharing. Searching, hoping. I continue loving.

And the non-twisted, perfectly lovely, current celebrity crush....

Those silly, silly women that say hair matters are sorely mistaken.

Twisted List...

My friend's mom has what she calls a "Twisted List." In other words, men she thinks are oddly attractive. Weird, strange men that are somehow attractive. And Bonnee and I have been thinking about ours for awhile, we were so intrigued by the idea.

Here's mine. (Don't judge. That's the purpose of a Twisted List, it's supposed to be weird...):

1. William Fichtner
2. Alan Rickman
3. Steve Carell
4. Edward Norton
5. Jay-Z

This is for Sarah. She wanted to see the other Annie Leibovitz photo I shot.  :)

 Annie Leibovitz Original

 My shot. 

My roommate Bonnee is the model :)

Photography!!

So I just turned in my midterm for PHO 181. Our assignment was to pick a photographer, research for a paper, and shoot 2 photos imitating our favorites. I am SO proud of the way mine turned out, particularly this one:

 Annie Leibovitz original

My shot. Thanks to Tori for modeling and helping me with Photoshop!

This assignment was pretty difficult for me. I would have loved to have been able to just mimic the style of Annie Leibovitz but using my own ideas. Because trust me, I had a ton of fantastic ideas. But I am so proud of this one. It's different enough that I didn't copy, but there's still so much of Annie Leibovitz's style & colors in it. 

Seriously, though. This project made me love Annie Leibovitz even more. And I thought that wasn't possible. Here's some of my favorites:

My home teacher came over today. And I have to say, I was really inspired! There's a few things that really got me thinking, and motivated me to be a little better.

This part was really a wake-up call for me. "You cannot be passive in life, or in time the natural man will undermine your efforts to live worthily. You become what you do and what you think about." (Richard G. SCott) So...I've never really done anything bad in my life. Mom, don't worry. I'm still not doing anything bad. But I have become a little passive, a little apathetic in the past few weeks. Physically I have NOT been feeling well, so after homework, sleep has been a huge priority. Somehow scripture reading has kind of been put on the back-burner. But I KNOW that this is true--it's so easy to trick yourself into thinking you're doing okay. You think, Oh I'm going to institute. I'm going to church. I'm still saying my prayers. But that's not really enough, because I have noticed in the past few weeks how much easier it is for the bad things to get to me. So! That motivated me, and I'm going to start my routine again, and stop making excuses. :)

One more thing: "With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage." This basically shut up those obnoxious thoughts in my head. I'm SO stubborn, and too often I let logic get in the way of things. I've been so frustrated, upset, and sad because what I have been praying for hasn't happened yet. After years. And it's difficult to see everyone else getting what I have prayed for and wanted for a long time. But there's someone up there who knows better than I do.

the manifesto of encouragement

right now:

There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.

Someone you haven't met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God's children.

A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, "nourish them."

Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you -- for free.

Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.

The next great song is being rehearsed.

Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.

Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.

Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."

Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche -- this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.

Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.

Someone is fighting the fight so that you don't have to.

Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe.Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.

Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

You. Me. Some. One. Now.

The. Greatest. List. Ever. (volume 3)

1. Oh my goodness. I'm obsessed.
2. One of my new favorite TV shows. Why, hello. I think you're fantastic.
3. Also, thank heavens for this. Without it, that stupid Indiana Jones theme song would still be stuck in my head.
4. Love this book. There's so many wonderful things in this world. 
5. I'm out of things to say. But I guess I'll always be grateful for this wonderful thing. 

the initiated woman

the initiated woman has bled. 
she's bled from poor decisions that sliced her esteem wide open; and from unguarded boundaries being obliterated; and she's bled willingly because that's what you do when people you love are anemic or have been hit by life -- you give them your blood. Here, I have lot's, it's fresh and warm. I'll make more.

She has gone through the eye of a needle, stripped, shed, pared down to the pure pith of her power. The few people who have seen her so naked will never speak of that beauty to anyone else.

She knows that when people are ready, they're ready, and they're never ready before they're ready. Still, she holds the light for your readiness, because she knows how sweet it is when the time is right.

She's modest, but bold to the depths. She knows that initiations are waiting for everyone to claim them. Courage is key.

She's asked people to leave her house because they were consistently rude.
Now, she asks after the first offense -- she knows where things are going.
If you don't respect her, there's not much to talk about.

It's usually a succession of rigors, (rarely a lightning strike) that earns her the license to teach. Her lessons can be precise, like the diamond that cuts diamonds. Essentially-focused.

She knows that playing nice perpetuates irresponsibility, but that kindness is wildly fertile.
She's mindful of the how and the who in her bed, because it's always more than that.
She doesn't spiritualize immorality, but she understands it.
She has no time for excuses, but all the time in the world for intentionality.
She reveres accountability, which includes using the sword of justice, and singing operatic praises for things done the good way -- or even attempts at the good way.

Scarred. Faceted. Radiant. Wide.

She's so tender she prefers to whisper about her true nature, or write a poem. Abstract. Protected.

When the intiatated woman tells you that "everything will be okay," you tend to believe her.

She uses compassion like a a lever to see what's really going on.

She applies willfulness sparingly, like gas to fire. ('cause, she is the fire.)
She awaits, but gets on with things.

She can tell you with calm and certain sympathy that love is the shortest distance between you and me.

And that there are no shortcuts to initiation.

Danielle LaPorte, http://whitehottruth.com/

I don't have to be "cool."
I don't have to be silent.
I don't have to be her. 
I don't have to be loud.
I don't have to be loved by him to be okay.
I don't have to be happy all the time.
I don't have to agree to be accepted.
I don't have to hide.
I don't have to have the answer.
I don't have to be perfect.
But I do have to be me.

The. Greatest. List. Ever. (volume 2)

1. Away We Go. One of my all-time favorite movies. Definitely in the top 5. 
2. Obviously Diet Coke. 
3. Dizzy Dean said, "It ain't braggin' if you can back it up." Well, I can SO back this up. I make the best chocolate chip cookies on this planet. 
4. To Make You Feel My Love, as sung by Adele. I honestly think this version is the best version of this song ever sung (though my step-dad would just say, "Oh, another world record. Great.") 
5. Strawberries with brown sugar and sour cream. My roommate recently introduced me to that lovely treat, and it is to die for. 
6. CHI's 44 Iron Guard spray. How else do you think I keep my hair this soft?  :)
7. My mom ROCKS. 
8. Bath & Body Works' White Citrus spray. It's divine.
9. Chalkboard spray paint, a cheap foam board, chalkboard markers, scrapbook paper, and a bottle of Mod Podge. A great craft night. 
10. Across the Universe. Also in my top 5 favorite movies.

Happiness

I was making pancakes yesterday...my favorite. And I was totally lost in stirring and smoothing the batter, smelling the vanilla, and feeling the warmth of the stove. Then I realized, at that moment, I was truly happy. And I thought about all the other times I have been truly happy, and those times are almost always when I am cooking (or handwashing my beautiful turquoise Paula Dean pots & pans set). Somehow, no matter what is going on in life, whether I'm worrying about the electrical deposit, budgeting money for milk, or thinking about when I need to do my laundry or clean the shower, I know that I can always stir flour, eggs, and vanilla and I will have delicious pancakes. Sour cream and brown sugar are delicious on strawberries. Boiling butter, cocoa and milk on the stove and adding oatmeal will always give me delicious no-bake cookies. It's cut-and-dried, it's logical, it's consistent.  It's effortless, straightforward, and uncomplicated. I have complete and utter control. It's a few minutes of priceless and exquisite peace. And nothing else compares in this universe.

"Some people like to paint pictures, or do gardening, or build a boat in the basement. Other people get a tremendous pleasure out of the kitchen, because cooking is just as creative and imaginative an activity as drawing, or wood carving, or music."  -Julia Child

apartment!

Here's some pictures of my lovely apartment.  :)

We'll start here...

as we go down the hall...

This is our living room! That couch is amazingly comfy.

I love our kitchen!

Cute color scheme, huh? I think we accidentally continued that throughout the apartment.

My room. My bed is on the left :)

My side of the room! Desk, posters, and all :)

We think we might submit our apartment to Better Homes & Gardens magazine. As far as college apartments go, ours is pretty darn stylish. But this bathroom (one of two) is our crown jewel.

Pretty, huh?

The. Greatest. List. Ever. (volume 1)

I love lists. So here's one, of everything and anything and everyone I'm currently nursing a healthy obsession of/crushing on/can't get enough of. 

1. Why is this so emotional? I swear, somehow this band has a link to my brain and my emotions. But how is that possible?
2. Wow, I love this movie. I could watch it over, and over, and over, and over again.
3. I can't get over the beauty of this poem. It's simultaneously joyful and gut-wrenching. 
4. Sexy (adj.): highly appealing or interesting; attractive. Should be used sparingly. See also: I want this man.
5. Also.............wow.
6. More tomorrow. I really need some of this.

The idea for this post came from my new favorite site. Check it out if you have a few hours, because trust me, you'll want to browse for ever.

I am so in love with this website right now, I can't stand it.
I don't even remember how I found it, but I'm so glad I did.

That post helped me realize that it's okay.


Also, I'm hoping to use these steps to help me deal with it.

Because, goodness, sometimes it feels like I'll collapse under the weight of all my anxieties.

When I win the lottery.... I want

this!

I am SO very, completely, incredibly in love with this song:

here!

He is a first class d-bag (old news, but for reference, hear what he said about jessica simpson? and jennifer aniston?) Like I would have the chance anyway, but that made me realize he's not very dateable. So I had to tone down my ardent love for him. Anyhoo....but I still love his music. Sorry, I can't stop that. And this song is just incredible.

My Wish List

So I can finally write down all of the melodies playing through my head.

Problem is, I don't have $600. So I'll just use the free, online notation program for now.

When life pokes and prods you, it is not punishment or abuse. You are being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings and take flight. See how well you can fly. -Melody Beattie

favorites

Just a few things I love at the moment:

--So I watched the last round of this, and actually enjoyed myself.

--While on the subject, meet my future husband.

--This is on the way to my house right now, and I am looking forward to seeing his lovely face every afternoon after work.

--I have rekindled my love for this. But blame it on my father.

Summer Update...

Summer started off really well, with a long vacation in Idaho. Even though it's been every year for 19 years, I still can't sleep the night before. I make myself practically sick with excitement. Also still, whenever I leave, I cry so hard I get a migraine. Hopefully one day it gets easier. Of course, hopefully one day I will be up there and won't have to worry about it.

I got to spend plenty of time with everyone--going out to eat way way too much and shopping way way too much. I got to spend lots of time with my favorite cousin and her husband. I truly love both of them and am so grateful for them continuing to include me in everything. 

When I got back from Idaho my brother graduated from HIGH SCHOOL! I still can't really believe it.  I am so proud of the man he is becoming and so grateful for him. He is such a good example to me and I love him!!

So now I am spending all of my time working as an intern and receptionist at my dad's company. I wake up at 4:30 every morning and get home around 5. So then I basically eat dinner and go to sleep, or try to anyway. It's a phenomenal opportunity, and right now I am working on a PR campaign for the company's new internet customer service program. I also fill in as a receptionist for a few hours a day, and work on all of the basic HR stuff for the company--taxes, insurance, benefits, etc. I'm just not sure I've ever been more tired in my life. And my summer is slowly evaporating. But I guess that's the way it's going to be for the rest of forever.

At least there's one exciting thing: apartment shopping!! I am having tons of fun shopping with my roommate for our new apartment in Flag. This is our main inspiration for the room, but we've got lots of fun extras like this, this, and this. 

And in our bathroom we are extending the theme of black, white and red but also adding turquoise. This is my favorite thing we've bought. Continuing the turquoise theme in the kitchen......these beautiful gems.

So needless to say, I'm ready for August. I can't wait to go back to a relatively normal sleeping routine, the beautiful weather of Flagstaff, and my beautiful apartment.

Everything I Need to Know...

...I learned in college.

You know that saying, that everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten? Or Primary? Well I don't think that's true.

Or if it is, you forget it when you start 7th grade.

There's just some things you need to learn later. Throughout your life. Without your family. By yourself.

Not that I'm saying right now I know all that I need to know. Good heavens.

I've got a long way to go. A very long way.

But here's a few things I have learned (or am starting to learn) this year. My first year of college.

Sometimes crying is completely necessary. It can be good medicine. It shouldn't be shameful.

I am learning to let go. It's healthier and more refreshing.

I am trying to love me. If I can't, how can I expect someone else to?

I am learning that it's his loss. I'm learning that THAT statement should be my first thought. Not, "What did I do wrong?" Or "What could I have done differently?" But, "He missed out." I'm learning that I'm the lucky one who gets the chance to find something better.

I will find better. At some point.

A little ice cream goes a long way.

So does a hug.

I'm turning into my mother. In all the good ways.

Doing something nice for someone you don't really like can help you, if even in a small way, to see what God sees when He looks at them.

It is always worth the extra time to send someone a little note.

"If we let ourselves be truly seen, then we can be truly loved." -Sark

I have learned to take a bit more off, and to rest a little deeper.

Silence is so loud.

There is something very therapeutic about watching a snowstorm. It's the way it quietly falls from the sky, even when it's coming down hard. It's walking outside, hearing the branches crack and break from the weight of the powder. It's catching a small snowflake on your sweater, looking down at just the right second to see the beautiful detail, more beautiful than a second-grade cutout, before it melts and vanishes.

There is beauty and joy in the simplest compliment, the smallest smile, or a short "hello."

You don't need to be in a church to feel God, to feel His presence, to feel the Spirit.

Compromise is so hard. But it's so rewarding.

Home isn't a place. It's with people. 

Jack's Mannequin - Swim

You gotta swim,
Swim for your life,
Swim for the music
That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive.
You gotta swim,
And swim when it hurts.
The whole world is watching;
You haven't come this far,
To fall off the earth.

The currents will pull you
Away from your love,
Just keep your head above.

I swim for brighter days
Despite the absence of sun;
Choking on salt water,
I'm not giving in.

You gotta swim
For nights that won't end.
Swim for your families,
Your lovers, your sisters,
And brothers and friends.
Yeah, you gotta swim
For wars without cause,
Swim for the lost politicians,
Who don't see their greed as a flaw.

The currents will pull us.
Away from our love,
Just keep your head above,

You gotta swim,
Swim in the dark;
There's no shame in drifting,
Feel the tide shifting and wait for the spark.
Yeah you gotta swim,
Don't let yourself sink,
Just find the horizon.
I promise you it's not as far as you think.

-Andrew McMahon

it's a wonderful life...

I am sincerely satisfied. Completely content. Honestly happy. (How's that for alliteration? At 1 in the morning no less). Life is really fantastic. And even though it may seem to take a while, I know our prayers are answered. Each and every one. Every single solitary prayer.

If we do what we are supposed to do, things will all work out.

I love cheesecake. And music. And the church. And best friends.

Living Full Out

I absolutely love i am that girl. It's a company that works to empower women, and they have a blog that I love to check out.

read here:  i am that girl

Today's post was by the founder, Alexis Jones, and it really got me thinking. I love this:
        
          "We have just one lifetime to make it count, to write our own greatest adventure novel, to chase down our wildest dreams, to surround ourselves with truly phenomenal people, to love with reckless abandon and to live with enthusiasm and passion, all while reveling in a state of endless possibility. One. Life. Just one hand with all the chips on the table."


When it comes to my friends and family, there is absolutely nothing I would not do. Nothing matters more than relationships. And I have truly wonderful friends. But as far as the rest of it...reckless abandon is not something I have ever experienced, even on my craziest days, and especially with love. And while I have been trying my hardest, I definitely can't say that I live with "enthusiasm and passion" all the time. But I guess I need to. What better way to make the most of this one life we have to live? Nothing is worse than those pesky "what if?" thoughts. And who wants to live with regrets? Not me, that's for sure. Because I already over-think things. And think about them...for ever...and ever...and ever. So no thanks.

So here's to making the most of life. Enjoying every second. Smiling, laughing. Loving. And trying "reckless abandon" on for size.

The Good Old Days

I was talking to my brother the other day (which, let me tell you, is noteworthy in itself. Since sometimes I forget I have a brother because I NEVER see him). I was asking him stuff about school and his life, and he said, "Why do you want to know all this? Want to go back to your good old days?" I told him, "Heck no! I  didn't like high school while I was in high school. And I never had 'good old days.'" I meant that sort of as a joke, until I realized it was true. I never really had "good old days." A lot of people can look back on their lives and pinpoint a time when everything was easy, when everything was going well, and when they were perfectly happy and carefree. Well...I can't. The first few years of elementary school were great, but once I hit 3rd grade it was rough. Junior high was just horrific. Seriously. That was such an awkward and difficult time--and when I finally was excited about something, it just was a heartbreak (the boy I had a crush on, an 8th grader!, told me he liked me and wanted to "go out" with me. Until he found out I was Mormon. Which has become a trend in my life. But that's a story for another time.) That doesn't seem like a huge deal now, but it was then. My parents divorced, and I struggled with depression and health problems that no one could seem to figure out. I wasn't sure about my testimony. Frankly, I wasn't sure about much of anything. And in high school, I was still sick and still fat. Senior year it finally started to get better. But I still can't say high school was the "good old days."


So that's a little sad and kind of depressing. But I have decided to make college, now, my life NOW, the "good old days." Everything is slowly getting better. I'm 40 pounds lighter (and counting) and seem to be feeling better on most days. I am enjoying learning at a higher level and enjoying my independence. I am loving institute and my ward, and I am finally strengthening my testimony. Eventually I will realize the purpose of my crazy and somewhat difficult life, and I know that it has made it possible for me to flourish right now, at a time when so many I know are starting to lose their way. So...I am going to make these days, right NOW, the time that I look back on with happiness and gratitude.

Spring Break!

It's spring break! Finally. And I'm home with the family. It's pretty wonderful. I'm going to spend the week catching up with old friends and getting a tan. Flagstaff has made me too white, almost translucent--I think they were picking up something in space yesterday. So I need to change that.

"Fortify yourself with contentment, for this is an impregnable fortress." -Epictetus


I heard this quote from my best friend, Lakshmi. It's just one that makes you think......


And it's probably true. But why is it so hard? Why is it easier to recognize the bad stuff, the things we don't like? So my mom told me it would be a good idea to start a gratitude journal. I don't think I'll get a separate one--just add it to my journal already. 


But here's a few things I'm grateful for:

On another note...


GO USA!! I'm really hoping they win the gold medal today! How awesome would that be if they beat Canada? They've been saying this whole time about how we're just stupid Americans who don't know anything about hockey, and it will be so easy for them to beat us. Let's hope it's not so easy.

My personal favorite: Bobby Ryan

Today was one of those days........where you just don't really want to pay attention. When three hours of church feels kind of like a nuisance. I've been doing really well up here in Flag, and I love my ward, but for some reason I just kind of felt off today. But I had an epiphany or something today...about how wonderful the priesthood is. And how important it is for me to marry in the temple, because I want my children to have the good example of a righteous priesthood holder that I didn't have until just a few years ago. It's been so wonderful to finally see that in my family...a few days before I left for college I got a priesthood blessing from my stepdad. And it was so wonderful. And I want my children to have those all the time, their whole lives, not just finally before college. It was just so cool today to see all these guys, these worthy priesthood holders. It reminded me that there are good guys in the world. And I'll take that reminder anywhere I can get it. 

http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/36618/

I feel so bad for my poor parents and my future husband. I am way too stubborn and independent for my own good. Of course, it snowed in Flagstaff this weekend and my parents drove me up. I was so mad...I probably sounded like a six-year-old. I like to do things myself, and I don't understand why people freak out about things that seem so little. Turns out, the snow in Flagstaff isn't so little. At some points while driving up, we only had a few feet of visibility. The roads were really bad. So, in hindsight, I am so thankful for my parents for taking the whole day to make sure I got back up here safely. I guess that's something I need to work on. But at some point I need to learn how to drive in the snow. Maybe it will come eventually...

On another note, some stupid chick missed out on $10,000 on The Singing Bee because she didn't know the words to Bon Jovi's "It's My Life." Really? REALLY? I could be $10,000 richer right now if I was on that show. So after college I'm thinking about going on that show...

"Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

Love is like seaweed. Even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent it from coming back.

So I think today was the best Valentine's Day I have ever had. I've given up the bitterness. I've realized it's a waste of time. It solves nothing. Sure, it's frustrating to see everyone getting roses, giant teddy bears, and mountains of chocolate from their boyfriend. But I wanted to make it fun this year. So instead I focused on my family and my friends. My new best friend Keara and I made cards for everyone. We spent hours in Michael's looking for supplies...it was so fun. Then after IWA we had fun being all crafty and girly. I made cards for all of my friends and my family, and I bought treats for everyone. Although we often forget, especially as soon as February comes around, I remembered that there are many different kinds of love. And it truly is wonderful. And when you focus on your friends, you totally forget about yourself. Honestly, this week I don't think it crossed my mind once that I don't have a boyfriend. Because I was thinking about everyone else. Thinking about what candy to get for Bonnee since she's allergic to red dye (which, let me tell you, SEVERELY limits one's options when shopping for Valentine's candy), which colors are Emily's favorite so I could decide how to decorate her card, or what chocolate to get for my mommy. It was SO fun! So every Valentine's Day for the rest of my life will be this over-the-top for everyone I know. Because it's more fun that way.

"Love is being stupid together." -Paul Valery

"Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words." -Jerome Cummings 

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."

"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." -Eric Fromm

"In the coldest February, as in every other month in every other year, the best thing to hold on to in this world is each other." -Linda Ellerbee