6 Reasons To Keep On Living

1. I'm going to Disneyland in three weeks.
2. I want babies!
3. My roommates wouldn't have dinner for next semester.
4. I love Christmas.
5. I still need to do my "Julie & Julia" experiment.
6. I want an Australian Shepherd.

My home teacher came over today. And I have to say, I was really inspired! There's a few things that really got me thinking, and motivated me to be a little better.

This part was really a wake-up call for me. "You cannot be passive in life, or in time the natural man will undermine your efforts to live worthily. You become what you do and what you think about." (Richard G. SCott) So...I've never really done anything bad in my life. Mom, don't worry. I'm still not doing anything bad. But I have become a little passive, a little apathetic in the past few weeks. Physically I have NOT been feeling well, so after homework, sleep has been a huge priority. Somehow scripture reading has kind of been put on the back-burner. But I KNOW that this is true--it's so easy to trick yourself into thinking you're doing okay. You think, Oh I'm going to institute. I'm going to church. I'm still saying my prayers. But that's not really enough, because I have noticed in the past few weeks how much easier it is for the bad things to get to me. So! That motivated me, and I'm going to start my routine again, and stop making excuses. :)

One more thing: "With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage." This basically shut up those obnoxious thoughts in my head. I'm SO stubborn, and too often I let logic get in the way of things. I've been so frustrated, upset, and sad because what I have been praying for hasn't happened yet. After years. And it's difficult to see everyone else getting what I have prayed for and wanted for a long time. But there's someone up there who knows better than I do.

the manifesto of encouragement

right now:

There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.

Someone you haven't met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God's children.

A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, "nourish them."

Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you -- for free.

Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.

The next great song is being rehearsed.

Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.

Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.

Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."

Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche -- this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.

Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.

Someone is fighting the fight so that you don't have to.

Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe.Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.

Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

You. Me. Some. One. Now.

the initiated woman

the initiated woman has bled. 
she's bled from poor decisions that sliced her esteem wide open; and from unguarded boundaries being obliterated; and she's bled willingly because that's what you do when people you love are anemic or have been hit by life -- you give them your blood. Here, I have lot's, it's fresh and warm. I'll make more.

She has gone through the eye of a needle, stripped, shed, pared down to the pure pith of her power. The few people who have seen her so naked will never speak of that beauty to anyone else.

She knows that when people are ready, they're ready, and they're never ready before they're ready. Still, she holds the light for your readiness, because she knows how sweet it is when the time is right.

She's modest, but bold to the depths. She knows that initiations are waiting for everyone to claim them. Courage is key.

She's asked people to leave her house because they were consistently rude.
Now, she asks after the first offense -- she knows where things are going.
If you don't respect her, there's not much to talk about.

It's usually a succession of rigors, (rarely a lightning strike) that earns her the license to teach. Her lessons can be precise, like the diamond that cuts diamonds. Essentially-focused.

She knows that playing nice perpetuates irresponsibility, but that kindness is wildly fertile.
She's mindful of the how and the who in her bed, because it's always more than that.
She doesn't spiritualize immorality, but she understands it.
She has no time for excuses, but all the time in the world for intentionality.
She reveres accountability, which includes using the sword of justice, and singing operatic praises for things done the good way -- or even attempts at the good way.

Scarred. Faceted. Radiant. Wide.

She's so tender she prefers to whisper about her true nature, or write a poem. Abstract. Protected.

When the intiatated woman tells you that "everything will be okay," you tend to believe her.

She uses compassion like a a lever to see what's really going on.

She applies willfulness sparingly, like gas to fire. ('cause, she is the fire.)
She awaits, but gets on with things.

She can tell you with calm and certain sympathy that love is the shortest distance between you and me.

And that there are no shortcuts to initiation.

Danielle LaPorte, http://whitehottruth.com/

I am so in love with this website right now, I can't stand it.
I don't even remember how I found it, but I'm so glad I did.

That post helped me realize that it's okay.


Also, I'm hoping to use these steps to help me deal with it.

Because, goodness, sometimes it feels like I'll collapse under the weight of all my anxieties.

When life pokes and prods you, it is not punishment or abuse. You are being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings and take flight. See how well you can fly. -Melody Beattie