Love

I have an older Brother who died for me. He sacrificed His life for ME, so that someday I can live with Him and my real father, my Father in Heaven.

Jesus Christ is the example of the perfect man, one who loves us for who we are, despite our faults. He loves us when we are not perfect. He loves us when we make mistakes.

As Valentine's Day is coming up, this is the love I'm choosing to focus on. The Christ-like, unconditional love we should have for everyone around us. Though we may be single, we are never alone. When we are in need, we can feel His arms around us, keeping us safe and warm.

The picture above is wonderful. It reminds me of the two men I have cheering me on and supporting me, no matter what. No matter what.

I can't wait to meet my Father in Heaven and my elder Brother. I can't wait for my Father to say "Well done, daughter."

listen, bucko.

I have intrinsic worth. Independent of what you think about me.

Those words? Verbatim from my bishop. Who rocks, by the way. The past few weeks have been like light bulbs of inspiration for me.

I am gaining a greater understanding of the Atonement. Of what our Savior did for us.

The last step of the repentance process is always restitution. But what happens if I cannot restore what I lost?  That question has plagued me for weeks, months even.

But I found my answer:  "Healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement. When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the uttermost farthing, your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts." -President Boyd K. Packer, "The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness"

I have done all that I can do. I have removed all reminders of that time from my life. I can truly say that I feel better. I feel free.

So the next steps?

"The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. Your progress is greatly accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter."

Listen, bucko. I have intrinsic worth. Independent of what you think about me.

I'm going to get a little church-y in this post. So to whoever is actually reading out there... You've been warned.

It's kind of a cliche, and kind of a dumb song. But "Jesus Take the Wheel" has kind of described my life the past few years. And that's the basis for this post.

Now that it's November, it seems that we all turn our hearts and our thoughts to our blessings and what we are grateful for. While I'm guilty of often forgetting to be thankful, the past year or so my thoughts have been centered on one thing or another that reinforces my gratitude and reminds me of the love of our Savior.

My car accident in March was nothing less than a miracle. I walked out of the hospital that day with a sprained finger and a scratch on my back. People have died from a lot less. As painful and as scary as that experience was and still is, I truly feel that in that instance Jesus Christ "took the wheel". I didn't feel anything. So many things about that day and about that experience tell me that He was looking out for me.

I have been working through the repentance process for the past few months. Last Sunday I received the impression that I was forgiven, that everything that I had worried about, cried about, and hated about the past 6 months were gone. And of course, guess what song was playing on the radio when I got in my car after church?

the one with the crash

This girl is seriously the luckiest girl in the world.

I'm pretty sick of talking about the details, but a lot of people have been wondering. I was about 10 miles outside of Flagstaff (I know...almost to the apartment!) and my car rolled at least 3 times and I landed upside down. I spent a few hours that day in the emergency room. My car is totaled and completely dead.

On that subject...a moment of silence for my dear friend.

...

But amazingly, I'm okay. The whole thing was a huge testimony builder for me. Looking at the car later, I am shocked I was not injured worse. Or dead.

I know for a fact that I was protected. It wasn't exactly a fun experience, obviously. But looking back, I realize how lucky I am.