I can't wait to see this wonderful men in February with my wonderful roommate. This song is almost spiritual for me. LOVE THEM.
December 5, 2011
December 4, 2011
listen, bucko.
I have intrinsic worth. Independent of what you think about me.
Those words? Verbatim from my bishop. Who rocks, by the way. The past few weeks have been like light bulbs of inspiration for me.
I am gaining a greater understanding of the Atonement. Of what our Savior did for us.
The last step of the repentance process is always restitution. But what happens if I cannot restore what I lost? That question has plagued me for weeks, months even.
But I found my answer: "Healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement. When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the uttermost farthing, your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts." -President Boyd K. Packer, "The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness"
I have done all that I can do. I have removed all reminders of that time from my life. I can truly say that I feel better. I feel free.
So the next steps?
"The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. Your progress is greatly accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter."
Listen, bucko. I have intrinsic worth. Independent of what you think about me.
Those words? Verbatim from my bishop. Who rocks, by the way. The past few weeks have been like light bulbs of inspiration for me.
I am gaining a greater understanding of the Atonement. Of what our Savior did for us.
The last step of the repentance process is always restitution. But what happens if I cannot restore what I lost? That question has plagued me for weeks, months even.
But I found my answer: "Healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement. When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the uttermost farthing, your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts." -President Boyd K. Packer, "The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness"
I have done all that I can do. I have removed all reminders of that time from my life. I can truly say that I feel better. I feel free.
So the next steps?
"The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. Your progress is greatly accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter."
Listen, bucko. I have intrinsic worth. Independent of what you think about me.
November 12, 2011
Wifey Material? #2 (food!)
My roommates and I had a great Halloween party the weekend before Halloween, and of course I went all out on the food. Sadly I don't have pictures of everything (see previous post's sad story about lost camera cord). But these pumpkins were a huge hit!
I used mini bundt pans for the pumpkin shapes. The cake was spice cake with cream cheese frosting, with white sprinkles and my new favorite decorating tool in orange, of course. And the stem? Chocolate licorice, which I wouldn't recommend for its taste, but it was the perfect idea for what I needed!
I used mini bundt pans for the pumpkin shapes. The cake was spice cake with cream cheese frosting, with white sprinkles and my new favorite decorating tool in orange, of course. And the stem? Chocolate licorice, which I wouldn't recommend for its taste, but it was the perfect idea for what I needed!
Wifey Material? #1 (crafty)
I've been crafting a lot lately and have been asked to post the pictures of what I've been doing!
I think I've had this desk chair for years. It was that bright ugly wood and it just didn't match with my desk furniture anymore. So, for more proof that I'm turning into my mother, what did I do? I turned to my trusty spray paint. But of course that wasn't enough for me. So I went to the next-best-thing-to-the-mothership Michael's and bought a bottle of acrylic paint and a stencil I loved. Finished product?
(please excuse the poor quality of photos...I lost my camera cord and have yet to buy a new one. So these come from my phone).
Pinterest is such an addicting website! So many good ideas and inspiration for crafts. Problem is, I don't have time for them all. Well... I finally decided to sit down and do one.
Supplies:
I am in the process of making a few canvas quote decorations (also inspired by Pinterest) and I will post those when I finish!
I think I've had this desk chair for years. It was that bright ugly wood and it just didn't match with my desk furniture anymore. So, for more proof that I'm turning into my mother, what did I do? I turned to my trusty spray paint. But of course that wasn't enough for me. So I went to the next-best-thing-to-the-mothership Michael's and bought a bottle of acrylic paint and a stencil I loved. Finished product?
Pinterest is such an addicting website! So many good ideas and inspiration for crafts. Problem is, I don't have time for them all. Well... I finally decided to sit down and do one.
- styrofoam wreath from Michaels ($7?)
- roll of white tulle from JoAnn ($3)
- hot glue gun (which of course every self-respecting Mormon woman has already)
I am in the process of making a few canvas quote decorations (also inspired by Pinterest) and I will post those when I finish!
I'm going to get a little church-y in this post. So to whoever is actually reading out there... You've been warned.
It's kind of a cliche, and kind of a dumb song. But "Jesus Take the Wheel" has kind of described my life the past few years. And that's the basis for this post.
Now that it's November, it seems that we all turn our hearts and our thoughts to our blessings and what we are grateful for. While I'm guilty of often forgetting to be thankful, the past year or so my thoughts have been centered on one thing or another that reinforces my gratitude and reminds me of the love of our Savior.
My car accident in March was nothing less than a miracle. I walked out of the hospital that day with a sprained finger and a scratch on my back. People have died from a lot less. As painful and as scary as that experience was and still is, I truly feel that in that instance Jesus Christ "took the wheel". I didn't feel anything. So many things about that day and about that experience tell me that He was looking out for me.
I have been working through the repentance process for the past few months. Last Sunday I received the impression that I was forgiven, that everything that I had worried about, cried about, and hated about the past 6 months were gone. And of course, guess what song was playing on the radio when I got in my car after church?
It's kind of a cliche, and kind of a dumb song. But "Jesus Take the Wheel" has kind of described my life the past few years. And that's the basis for this post.
Now that it's November, it seems that we all turn our hearts and our thoughts to our blessings and what we are grateful for. While I'm guilty of often forgetting to be thankful, the past year or so my thoughts have been centered on one thing or another that reinforces my gratitude and reminds me of the love of our Savior.
My car accident in March was nothing less than a miracle. I walked out of the hospital that day with a sprained finger and a scratch on my back. People have died from a lot less. As painful and as scary as that experience was and still is, I truly feel that in that instance Jesus Christ "took the wheel". I didn't feel anything. So many things about that day and about that experience tell me that He was looking out for me.
I have been working through the repentance process for the past few months. Last Sunday I received the impression that I was forgiven, that everything that I had worried about, cried about, and hated about the past 6 months were gone. And of course, guess what song was playing on the radio when I got in my car after church?
November 2, 2011
October 31, 2011
Operation New Girl
Commencing November 1, 2011
Confession time here. The past few months have been bad. Really bad.
This summer changed me. Not in a good way.
But tomorrow's November. And I'm changing a few things. Here they are:
- Start a consistent exercise program. Two things. I feel so much better when I am able to take the time to work out and to relieve a little stress. Also, I graduate in 13 months. I would love to be able to climb Humphreys, the highest mountain in Arizona, by the time I graduate. What better motivation, besides self-improvement, than to be able to say I climbed Humphreys? So I'm working out six days a week in a rotation, 2 days gym, 1 day yoga, rinse and repeat. :) I'm going to take Sundays off.
- Eat healthy. I would love to say "stop eating" but I know I would get in trouble for that. Honestly, I eat really healthy as a general rule. I just eat too much. So no more bad sugar (after I finish this lollipop) and no more bad carbs. It's on.
- Stop spending. The next few months will constitute a self-imposed spending freeze. Obviously there are necessities like food and shampoo, and Christmas gifts coming soon, but I am not allowing myself to buy anything unnecessary. I really need to get some finances in order.
- Get over it. Yes, he broke my heart. Sometimes I still feel like I'm all tied up in knots. Sometimes I'm still not sure I can take it. But I'm through talking about it.
Yes, there are a few smaller goals (weight loss, feeling healthier, climbing Humphreys). But the overall goal? Be a better person than I was before. Before him.
I won't let this beat me.
October 23, 2011
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." -Lewis B. Smedes
"We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us." -David Seamands
"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell." -Edna St. Vincent Millay
"I thought when love for you died, I should die.
It's dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on." -Rupert Brooke
October 11, 2011
My apologies to Paul, John, George & Ringo. (Paul, I will love you forever).
But you're wrong.
"All you need is love?" That's a lie.
I will, before I say anymore, admit that yes, if we all had more love for each other, the world would be a better place. But to say that it would solve all the world's problems.......well that's just naive.
And in relationships--that's even more naive. Love just isn't enough. You need so much more. You need similar values, ethics, ideals. You need to want the same things. You need communication.
You need two people, willing to work as much as they have to.
So I'm sorry, John. You know I admire you. Sometimes I "imagine all the people living life in peace." I'm sorry too, Paul. Sometimes I feel like Eleanor Rigby.
But I have to respectfully disagree with you two on this one.
"And it stings when it's nobody's fault
Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name
It's only the air you took and the breath you left"
September 15, 2011
Favorite person
This man is my favorite. Yes, he is amazingly handsome. But besides that fact, he's a genuine, intelligent, spiritual guy. We need more men like him in this world! Watch this for a little uplifting...
summer :)
I love my parents!!
They came to visit me last weekend and I am so grateful for them! It's been too long since I visited them.
We drove around the mountains, shot, went to a car show... It was great.
Pictures coming later...
They came to visit me last weekend and I am so grateful for them! It's been too long since I visited them.
We drove around the mountains, shot, went to a car show... It was great.
Pictures coming later...
April 12, 2011
inspiration
The inspiration for the blog renovation and new title comes from a very special someone.
We were making cheesecake on Friday afternoon, discussing the divinity of my white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. I must have said something about how unhealthy it is (3 blocks of cream cheese! sugar! cream!) and he said, "That's okay. Some things are good for the soul. Your cheesecake is soul food."
So it obviously got me thinking about soul food. It's not just food. It's music, poetry, optimism, happiness, love, friendship, family. All those things that feed your soul.
We could all use a little more soul food.
We were making cheesecake on Friday afternoon, discussing the divinity of my white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. I must have said something about how unhealthy it is (3 blocks of cream cheese! sugar! cream!) and he said, "That's okay. Some things are good for the soul. Your cheesecake is soul food."
So it obviously got me thinking about soul food. It's not just food. It's music, poetry, optimism, happiness, love, friendship, family. All those things that feed your soul.
We could all use a little more soul food.
April 3, 2011
fifteen things
Ok, I was tagged too.
#1 "Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?" Favorite movie.
#2 Cooking is my therapy. I love taking care of people and making yummy food.
#3 I would rather eat sour cream & onion potato chips than chocolate.
#4 I'm in love.
#5 My family: my favorite people in the world.
#6 Aerosmith is amazing. I have a major crush on Steven Tyler.
#7 I can't wait to live in Idaho.
#8 My favorite smell is the smell of new books.
#9 Vegetables are my favorite food.
#10 I love yoga.
#11 I have the cutest nephews in the world. Sorry, but it's the truth.
#12 If it doesn't work out with Steven Tyler, there's always George Strait.
#13 I love buying bras.
#14 'Remember the Titans' is my favorite movie ever. Truly.
#15 My grandma is my role model.
#1 "Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?" Favorite movie.
#2 Cooking is my therapy. I love taking care of people and making yummy food.
#3 I would rather eat sour cream & onion potato chips than chocolate.
#4 I'm in love.
#5 My family: my favorite people in the world.
#6 Aerosmith is amazing. I have a major crush on Steven Tyler.
#7 I can't wait to live in Idaho.
#8 My favorite smell is the smell of new books.
#9 Vegetables are my favorite food.
#10 I love yoga.
#11 I have the cutest nephews in the world. Sorry, but it's the truth.
#12 If it doesn't work out with Steven Tyler, there's always George Strait.
#13 I love buying bras.
#14 'Remember the Titans' is my favorite movie ever. Truly.
#15 My grandma is my role model.
the one with the crash
This girl is seriously the luckiest girl in the world.
I'm pretty sick of talking about the details, but a lot of people have been wondering. I was about 10 miles outside of Flagstaff (I know...almost to the apartment!) and my car rolled at least 3 times and I landed upside down. I spent a few hours that day in the emergency room. My car is totaled and completely dead.
On that subject...a moment of silence for my dear friend.
...
But amazingly, I'm okay. The whole thing was a huge testimony builder for me. Looking at the car later, I am shocked I was not injured worse. Or dead.
I know for a fact that I was protected. It wasn't exactly a fun experience, obviously. But looking back, I realize how lucky I am.
I'm pretty sick of talking about the details, but a lot of people have been wondering. I was about 10 miles outside of Flagstaff (I know...almost to the apartment!) and my car rolled at least 3 times and I landed upside down. I spent a few hours that day in the emergency room. My car is totaled and completely dead.
On that subject...a moment of silence for my dear friend.
...
But amazingly, I'm okay. The whole thing was a huge testimony builder for me. Looking at the car later, I am shocked I was not injured worse. Or dead.
I know for a fact that I was protected. It wasn't exactly a fun experience, obviously. But looking back, I realize how lucky I am.
March 31, 2011
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements, lock it in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. C.S. Lewis
That man...genius.
That man...genius.
March 23, 2011
This song has without a doubt helped me through the past few days. And I love President Monson at the end. I wanted to share the wealth.
March 3, 2011
"Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequencies rather than absorbing the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence." -Barbara Marciniak
February 23, 2011
"Whether you are surrounded by the singing of a lamp or the sounds of a storm, by the breathing of the evening or the sighing of the sea, there is a vast melody woven of a thousand voices that never leaves you and only occasionally leaves room for your solo. To know when you have to join in, that is the secret of your solitude, just as it is the art of true human interaction: to let yourself take leave of the lofty words to join in with the one shared melody." -Rainer Maria Rilke
February 20, 2011
What I Know For Sure
I don't want to be dramatic. I don't want to exaggerate, or go crazy, or start crying.
Suffice it to say, that I know this for sure: There is a God. He answers our prayers. He protects us. He loves us. He knows each and every one of us, and somehow He listens to each of our prayers. Each and every prayer: whether we speak aloud or plead wordlessly.
There are some things we can't explain, and we don't have to know everything. But I know these things for sure.
Suffice it to say, that I know this for sure: There is a God. He answers our prayers. He protects us. He loves us. He knows each and every one of us, and somehow He listens to each of our prayers. Each and every prayer: whether we speak aloud or plead wordlessly.
There are some things we can't explain, and we don't have to know everything. But I know these things for sure.
February 16, 2011
Some Favorite Words
- Splendid
- Unicycle
- Phenomenal
- Submarine
- Glorious
- Banana
- Discover
- Accomplish
- Sparkler
- Walrus
- Being
- Universe
- Inspiring
- Buffalo
- Extraordinary
February 14, 2011
There is no force in the world but love, and when you carry it within you, if you simply have it, even if you remain baffled as to how to use it, it will work its radiant effects and help you out of and beyond yourself: one must never lose this belief, one must simply (and if it were nothing else) endure in it! -Rainer Maria Rilke
Here it comes again...
So, it's Valentine's Day again. Yuck.
But I'm sticking with my new tradition and focusing on my friends and family. It's amazing how much better you feel when you focus on others, instead of wallowing in self-pity.
Even though I don't have much sadness and pity to wallow in this year :) But that's a story for another time. Or maybe not.
But I've been thinking a lot today about the different kinds of love. Love truly is a gift that, when shared with others, not only nourishes the receivers but us as well. It's a beautiful thing.
"This is the miracle that happens each time in the case of people who are truly in love: the more they give, the more they own of this delicious nourishing love from which flowers and children receive their strength and which could help everyone if people would accept it without doubt." Rainer Maria Rilke
But I'm sticking with my new tradition and focusing on my friends and family. It's amazing how much better you feel when you focus on others, instead of wallowing in self-pity.
Even though I don't have much sadness and pity to wallow in this year :) But that's a story for another time. Or maybe not.
But I've been thinking a lot today about the different kinds of love. Love truly is a gift that, when shared with others, not only nourishes the receivers but us as well. It's a beautiful thing.
"This is the miracle that happens each time in the case of people who are truly in love: the more they give, the more they own of this delicious nourishing love from which flowers and children receive their strength and which could help everyone if people would accept it without doubt." Rainer Maria Rilke
January 14, 2011
"i love my past, i love my present. i am not ashamed of what i have had, and i am not sad because i no longer have it." -sidonie gabrielle collette
One of my all-time favorite shots. I took this in the car on the way to Idaho, out of the back window. A little editing, but isn't it beautiful?
January 5, 2011
"Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours." Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
a world in white gets underway
Goals, Wishes, Hopes, Dreams, Desires for 2011
--You can wave goodbye to the Middle Man. Because I am making the most serious attempt of my life at banishing him completely. For years I've pushed myself to the back, put myself on the sidelines, on the back burner, and let people dictate my life in the interest of keeping them happy. I end up taking care of everyone. Which is fine, because that's my personality. Until the line is crossed. This last year was the last time for me. I'm through being in the middle, because you can't win for losing in that position. If I try to help, I get shot down. If I keep quiet, everyone screams "Where were you?" And I can't handle that anymore. I can't solve everyone's problems at the expense of my sanity. I'm still the same person, and I still love to help. If you have a problem, please come to me. But I'm not crossing that line anymore. It's exhausting. I can't be expected to swoop in and save the day, especially when no one communicates with me unless I've done something wrong or haven't done enough. They have people that get paid to solve your problems, and I suggest giving them a call. Because it's not going to be me anymore. I'm through being forced to take sides, because I can't convince people to start acting their age. And in 99% of the disagreements in the entire world, all parties are at fault. There's never one side, one victim. If there's one thing I know FOR SURE in this world, it's this: It's all up to us. You can't blame anyone else for ANYTHING that happens in your life. If you're unhappy, do something to fix it. If something's wrong, you do something. If you need extra help, by all means. But someone else shouldn't do all the work. So I'm done.
Well now that that took up so much room, here's the rest of them. I promise they're shorter :)
--Continue my daily workouts with Paige. Without a doubt the best part of my day.
--Write more. On my blog, in my journal, wherever. It's so therapeutic for me, I just need to make the time.
--Read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" and "Not My Will, But Thine".
--Get a 4.0 GPA
--Acceptance to the American University's Washington Semester Summer Program in Journalism & New Media. Or American Politics (I'm undecided, obviously).
--Enjoy life. Go on nature walks. Take random pictures of anything I think of. Stop and smell the proverbial roses.
--You can wave goodbye to the Middle Man. Because I am making the most serious attempt of my life at banishing him completely. For years I've pushed myself to the back, put myself on the sidelines, on the back burner, and let people dictate my life in the interest of keeping them happy. I end up taking care of everyone. Which is fine, because that's my personality. Until the line is crossed. This last year was the last time for me. I'm through being in the middle, because you can't win for losing in that position. If I try to help, I get shot down. If I keep quiet, everyone screams "Where were you?" And I can't handle that anymore. I can't solve everyone's problems at the expense of my sanity. I'm still the same person, and I still love to help. If you have a problem, please come to me. But I'm not crossing that line anymore. It's exhausting. I can't be expected to swoop in and save the day, especially when no one communicates with me unless I've done something wrong or haven't done enough. They have people that get paid to solve your problems, and I suggest giving them a call. Because it's not going to be me anymore. I'm through being forced to take sides, because I can't convince people to start acting their age. And in 99% of the disagreements in the entire world, all parties are at fault. There's never one side, one victim. If there's one thing I know FOR SURE in this world, it's this: It's all up to us. You can't blame anyone else for ANYTHING that happens in your life. If you're unhappy, do something to fix it. If something's wrong, you do something. If you need extra help, by all means. But someone else shouldn't do all the work. So I'm done.
Well now that that took up so much room, here's the rest of them. I promise they're shorter :)
--Continue my daily workouts with Paige. Without a doubt the best part of my day.
--Write more. On my blog, in my journal, wherever. It's so therapeutic for me, I just need to make the time.
--Read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" and "Not My Will, But Thine".
--Get a 4.0 GPA
--Acceptance to the American University's Washington Semester Summer Program in Journalism & New Media. Or American Politics (I'm undecided, obviously).
--Enjoy life. Go on nature walks. Take random pictures of anything I think of. Stop and smell the proverbial roses.
January 3, 2011
how delightful
Top 10 magical, delightful, and glorious Events of 2010
10. I passed Pre-Calculus with a B. It's a wonder. But it would be more surprising if I hadn't worked so hard.
9. Music! I saw G. Love and Special Sauce, Jack Johnson, Love & Theft, Luke Bryan, and Keith Urban all in concert.
8. Cardinals vs. Packers game. January 3, 2010.
7. Though it almost killed me, I spent the summer working as an HR intern at FVI. It was my first job, and my first full-time job too. Besides the resume experience, I came into my own. I gained more confidence in myself and my abilities.
6. I aced, and I mean aced my PR class and realized fully that Public Relations is the perfect major for me.
5. Dean's List 3 semesters in a row!
4. The first birthday of Mr. Westley Jackson Colegrove, the most fantastic and handsome nephew to ever grace the world.
3. My first apartment! I love being on my own.
2. The birth of Ava Reagan Jones (my favorite girl in the world, second only to her mother), followed closely by Stedson Jess and Treydon Jay Romrell. Miracle babies. They're perfect and gorgeous and healthy.
1. The baptism of my brother. Prayers, gratitude, and plenty of tears.
10. I passed Pre-Calculus with a B. It's a wonder. But it would be more surprising if I hadn't worked so hard.
9. Music! I saw G. Love and Special Sauce, Jack Johnson, Love & Theft, Luke Bryan, and Keith Urban all in concert.
8. Cardinals vs. Packers game. January 3, 2010.
7. Though it almost killed me, I spent the summer working as an HR intern at FVI. It was my first job, and my first full-time job too. Besides the resume experience, I came into my own. I gained more confidence in myself and my abilities.
6. I aced, and I mean aced my PR class and realized fully that Public Relations is the perfect major for me.
5. Dean's List 3 semesters in a row!
4. The first birthday of Mr. Westley Jackson Colegrove, the most fantastic and handsome nephew to ever grace the world.
3. My first apartment! I love being on my own.
2. The birth of Ava Reagan Jones (my favorite girl in the world, second only to her mother), followed closely by Stedson Jess and Treydon Jay Romrell. Miracle babies. They're perfect and gorgeous and healthy.
1. The baptism of my brother. Prayers, gratitude, and plenty of tears.
