January 5, 2011

a world in white gets underway

Goals, Wishes, Hopes, Dreams, Desires for 2011

--You can wave goodbye to the Middle Man. Because I am making the most serious attempt of my life at banishing him completely. For years I've pushed myself to the back, put myself on the sidelines, on the back burner, and let people dictate my life in the interest of keeping them happy. I end up taking care of everyone. Which is fine, because that's my personality. Until the line is crossed. This last year was the last time for me. I'm through being in the middle, because you can't win for losing in that position. If I try to help, I get shot down. If I keep quiet, everyone screams "Where were you?" And I can't handle that anymore. I can't solve everyone's problems at the expense of my sanity. I'm still the same person, and I still love to help. If you have a problem, please come to me. But I'm not crossing that line anymore. It's exhausting. I can't be expected to swoop in and save the day, especially when no one communicates with me unless I've done something wrong or haven't done enough. They have people that get paid to solve your problems, and I suggest giving them a call. Because it's not going to be me anymore. I'm through being forced to take sides, because I can't convince people to start acting their age. And in 99% of the disagreements in the entire world, all parties are at fault. There's never one side, one victim. If there's one thing I know FOR SURE in this world, it's this: It's all up to us. You can't blame anyone else for ANYTHING that happens in your life. If you're unhappy, do something to fix it. If something's wrong, you do something. If you need extra help, by all means. But someone else shouldn't do all the work. So I'm done. 

Well now that that took up so much room, here's the rest of them. I promise they're shorter :)

--Continue my daily workouts with Paige. Without a doubt the best part of my day.
--Write more. On my blog, in my journal, wherever. It's so therapeutic for me, I just need to make the time.
--Read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" and "Not My Will, But Thine".
--Get a 4.0 GPA
--Acceptance to the American University's Washington Semester Summer Program in Journalism & New Media. Or American Politics (I'm undecided, obviously).
--Enjoy life. Go on nature walks. Take random pictures of anything I think of. Stop and smell the proverbial roses.


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