It's my belief we all, at one time or another,
secretly ask ourselves the question,
"Am I crazy?"
In my case, the answer came back: A resounding
YES!


You're thinkin': How does a person know if they're crazy or not? Well sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you can go through life suspecting you are but never really knowing for sure. Sometimes you know for sure 'cause you got so many people tellin' you you're crazy that it's your word against everyone else's...


After all, what is reality anyway? Nothin' but a collective hunch.




Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe

"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you." Frederick Buechner

Winter Wonderland...

So here's what I realized about snow:

1. It's beautiful. I could sit and watch it for hours. 
2. It's fun to fall in! Even if it's taller than me, and I only have jeans on. 
3. Sledding is kind of terrifying, but more fun than just about anything else. 
4. It tastes good. It's a cliche, but it's fun to catch it on your tongue. 
5. Everyone looks cute with their hair covered in snow, in a big coat and a hat. 

            peace.

it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in
the midst of those things and still
be calm in your heart.

Life...

...is a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.


I have been doing really well this week, with school and everything. Until I was in the gym today. A guy walked in after I had started my workout, and turned the TV on. To NCIS. This sounds stupid, but I have always thought it was a dumb show. But during Christmas break, I watched the reruns almost every night with my family. So when I saw the show tonight, I started crying! I'm still really happy, and I am starting to love it here, but I wish I could get more hugs. Sometimes I just want a hug from mom. I miss being at home, watching Glenn Beck every afternoon with my grandma, making cookies or brownies on Sunday after church...I miss it.


On a happier note, life is going really well right now. School is INSANE, and I am always doing homework. But I'm spending lots of time this semester with friends, and out of my dorm. And planning the apartment for next year is so much fun. I can't wait to be with all my friends, and have what feels like a home. It will be so nice to cook dinner, to watch general conference together...to just be family away from our families. It is so fun to think about. And....a follow-up from my last post. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Only I didn't have to do anything. Which was a nice change. So I know his name, he has my cell number, and we're going to lunch on Saturday.    :D


And Supernatural is new tomorrow! It's finally back. And we might have a snow day. My fingers are crossed. I am so loving this snow.

AMAZING.

I can't even begin to describe how freaking fantastic this last week was. Why? I'm still not sure!

This is going out of chronological order here, but I'm going to start with my institute class. I knew it was going to be awesome, but sometimes I swear it seems like Brother Martin receives inspiration just for me. So my class this semester is Teachings of the Living Prophets, and we go through a conference talk each class. We read Elder Richard G. Scott's talk "To Acquire Spiritual Guidance". And one of the lines really impressed me. Spirituality yields two fruits. The first is inspiration to know what to do. The second is power, or the capacity to do it. These two capacities come together. That’s why Nephi could say, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.” So I shared my feelings on this. I thought, I want this! I've been going through so much, I have no idea what to do or how to do it, and wouldn't it be great to know these things? And Brother Martin starts talking about how we can receive this spiritual guidance. He said, "If you prayed, and you felt like you were supposed to go to NAU, but you can't figure out why, ask! You need to find out what you are supposed to learn here, why you are supposed to be here." And I felt like he was talking specifically to me, even though he obviously wasn't. And even though I certainly don't know these answers yet, I am starting to feel like maybe this is going to fit! 


This semester is SO freaking crazy. The first two days of class, I panicked. I truly have not had this much to do in my life. I have never had so much homework. If I'm not in class, I'm doing homework. But I love it! I love my classes-everything is so interesting! Well, except pre-calc. But I think I can be absolutely certain that will never be anything but dreadfully coma-inducing. But there's lots to make up for that! I have friends in most of my classes, and it's so awesome to be able to spend more time hanging out rather than stuck in my little 3rd floor box. And...there's a cute boy! A really cute boy. In my communications class. He's so much fun to talk to, and he's so nice. So this week's mission: Find out his name. After that: invite him to the Super Bowl party, maybe? Hmmm...


Everything is FANTASTIC. 

Jumbled....Politics, Food, and Life

So I went to Barnes and Noble today...to burn the few remaining gift cards from Christmas. And I must say, I am quite satisfied with my purchases. I bought Glenn Beck's "new" book, Arguing with Idiots. And it has got me thinking...and maybe too much for the last few days of winter break. I know what happens when I think too much........not good.

The first chapter is about capitalism. Ooh, boy. I know. He's starting off with a bang. Okay, so there's a few random quotes throughout the chapter, and you're supposed to guess who the crazy person is that said it. So here's the first gem:

"It's impossible that capitalism can regulate the monster that is the world financial system, it's impossible. Capitalism needs to go down. It has to end."

Um...so my first thoughts: Holy crap. And guess what wonderful world leader said that? Hugo Chavez. Yep, that's right. Mr. Term-Limits-Don't-Matter-So-Let's-Get-Rid-Of-Them Chavez. Who wants to place a bet on how long that man will be in there? We've got a Stalin on our hands, people. And if that's not radical enough for you, here's another one. You might want to sit down.

"We are interested in a new financial system based on justice. A real economic system."

Hmmm...Chavez again? NOPE. My second favorite scary man, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. (P.S. It's not Akmadinejad, people. It's AHHHH-madinejad.) Anyhooo....so this financial system that both of these men, among many other world leaders, are looking for, involves government intervention. Do we want these quacks--and trust me there are quacks even wackier in the good old US of A too--running an economy? Normal, educated men can't even be trusted (see Ben Bernanke, Hank Paulson, Alan Greenspan, etc.) So now they're saying we want something to regulate the "world financial system"? Pardon me, but does that not scare anyone else? Is it just me and Glenn Beck? So think about it people...let's try to do something about this. The first step is realizing that these ideas are present not only in Venezuela and Iran, but here too. In the supposed haven for free markets. Don't want to be Molly Raincloud here, but it's serious. Let's VOTE!

Last political issue. The Second Amendment. A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. The most important part of that sentence, from our Constitution, is now being used to negate our personal rights. That lovely phrase, a well regulated Militia. Collectivists are now saying the right only applies to militias, not individuals. This is ludicrous, but if people insist on this argument, there are plentiful quotes by the founders asserting the individual rights. "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." Thomas Jefferson. "Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property." Thomas Paine. Ok, so our founders believe without a doubt that this right applies to individuals, but they decided not to add it in the Constitution? Uh-huh. Sure. I guess we can all keep believing that the men who created the best system of government that led to the most powerful country in the world are so dumb and/or confused that they can't seem to make up their minds. Yep, that's it.

So the other book I bought is Chef Rocco DiSpirito's cookbook Flavor. Trust me, this will have a point. The first part of the book talks about creating your own "personal cuisine." He brings up a great point about how cooking has evolved--it previously to focus on the French classics, the standards. But now, and partly because of America's "melting pot" atmosphere, there is so much more freedom and creativity allowed in the art of cooking. My favorite paragraph: "Do you cook from your gut? Let your nose and taste buds lead the way. Let your instincts and passion take care of the rest." This is important not only in food, but in life.

How am I going to connect these books? Well here it is. There are so many options in this world, so many opinions, and that's what makes our world great. And we may recognize or believe others' opinions, politics, or "personal cuisine" to be STUPID. For instance, Keith Olbermann. Or Ina Garten. I know people who think my ideas are stupid. And that's their right. If we want to be respected, we need to give respect to others. However, at some point, we are going to need to get over the silliness of our numerous attempts at political correctness, and focus on the truth. As Glenn Beck said today on his TV show, opinions must END where facts BEGIN. And if we expect to live life to the fullest, to create the best world we can for today and to preserve it for our children, we need to step up. We need to create our own "personal cuisine". We need to use the right ingredients and the right equipment, and change the world. Let's work harder to change it, rather than simply acknowledging it needs to be changed. We can all recognize the aspects of life that need to be changed, but it's more important that we recognize what we can do.

So here's to standing up for our beliefs. To changing the world.

There are no such things as limits to growth, because there are no limits to the human capacity for intelligence, imagination and wonder. Ronald Reagan 

Playoffs!!

So I NEVER blog about football, but there are some things I just need to say. I am so incredibly sad that my beloved Steelers missed the playoffs this year...so close. It's incredibly disappointing, because they happened to beat the Cardinals last year and win the Super Bowl. So that is the reason for my sadness this morning.

They missed the playoffs, but not for lack of trying. Big Ben threw 3 TDs and played through a shoulder/arm/unclear injury...what a stud! They won the game, barely...but still missed. It's quite sad. But I must say, I am still Big Ben's biggest fan. I am and will ALWAYS be a Steelers fan, even if they miss the playoffs for years (how many, though, will be the question).

I guess my team for the playoffs will be the Packers, my second favorite team. They KILLED Arizona yesterday! What a fantastic game that was. So hopefully they can beat them again next week and keep going in the playoffs...so I have a team to cheer for. How fantastic would that be if they got a Super Bowl now, without Judas Favre? I smile just thinking about it. I saw a guy at the game yesterday with a Favre jersey, only the 4 was crossed out, and on the back "Judas" was written right before Favre. I guess I'm not the only one who favors calling him Judas Favre. Since that's practically what he is.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/319353-favre-to-rodgers-green-bay-packers-manage-the-immaculate-transition

2010?

I can't decide if I'm excited about or dreading this new year. I know it sounds horrible, but when that giant ball dropped in NYC and I saw people crying and kissing and dancing and I fully realized it was 2010, I almost started crying. Not happy tears. But "oh-crap-it's-really-here-and-I-don't-know-if-I-like-where-my-life-is-going" tears. Last New Year's I was in the Bahamas, and I was so optimistic about my life (of course, it's hard to be upset when you're in the Bahamas). But seriously, I couldn't wait for my future to start. 2009 meant lots of great things for me: graduating high school, getting a car, 2 Europe trips, and starting college. And everything went perfectly well...except for the tiny part about college. I used to feel 100% certain I was in the right place for me, and I was going in the right direction. Well the past few months have been nothing but certain...always in the back of my mind, there's this cloud. This cloud of worry, of second guessing. I don't like NAU as much as I was hoping. I hear about all my friends enjoying college and I think, Well, hey! That should be me too. This is supposed to be the time of my life! And day-to-day, it really is. I love being independent, and having fun. Being able to do whatever I want. But big picture, I'm just not feeling it. I almost envy those boys...or even girls...that grow up knowing EXACTLY what they want in life--professional athlete. And that's all they focus on, because that's all they want to do. They couldn't possibly fathom doing anything else with their lives. But me...I can sit here and think of hundreds of things that sound appealing. I could be Chef Olivia, a renowned pastry chef, the White House Press Secretary, a journalist, a government teacher, a ballerina, an author, the President, director of the CIA, forensic scientist, sports broadcaster...I could go on and on. And yeah, when you're thinking about it, it sounds fantastic. I truly have the abilities and opportunities to do any of these things. And I am thankful for that every day. But when it comes right down to it...how the heck do you make that decision? And out of the hundreds and hundreds of schools to attend to get the education to accomplish this, which one do you pick? Which one is best? And if you're not happy where you are, is that because it's the wrong place? Or do you just need to change your perspective? How do you truly know? I guess the only thing we can do is hope.

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." 2 Corinthians 4:17