Everything I Need to Know...

...I learned in college.

You know that saying, that everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten? Or Primary? Well I don't think that's true.

Or if it is, you forget it when you start 7th grade.

There's just some things you need to learn later. Throughout your life. Without your family. By yourself.

Not that I'm saying right now I know all that I need to know. Good heavens.

I've got a long way to go. A very long way.

But here's a few things I have learned (or am starting to learn) this year. My first year of college.

Sometimes crying is completely necessary. It can be good medicine. It shouldn't be shameful.

I am learning to let go. It's healthier and more refreshing.

I am trying to love me. If I can't, how can I expect someone else to?

I am learning that it's his loss. I'm learning that THAT statement should be my first thought. Not, "What did I do wrong?" Or "What could I have done differently?" But, "He missed out." I'm learning that I'm the lucky one who gets the chance to find something better.

I will find better. At some point.

A little ice cream goes a long way.

So does a hug.

I'm turning into my mother. In all the good ways.

Doing something nice for someone you don't really like can help you, if even in a small way, to see what God sees when He looks at them.

It is always worth the extra time to send someone a little note.

"If we let ourselves be truly seen, then we can be truly loved." -Sark

I have learned to take a bit more off, and to rest a little deeper.

Silence is so loud.

There is something very therapeutic about watching a snowstorm. It's the way it quietly falls from the sky, even when it's coming down hard. It's walking outside, hearing the branches crack and break from the weight of the powder. It's catching a small snowflake on your sweater, looking down at just the right second to see the beautiful detail, more beautiful than a second-grade cutout, before it melts and vanishes.

There is beauty and joy in the simplest compliment, the smallest smile, or a short "hello."

You don't need to be in a church to feel God, to feel His presence, to feel the Spirit.

Compromise is so hard. But it's so rewarding.

Home isn't a place. It's with people. 

Jack's Mannequin - Swim

You gotta swim,
Swim for your life,
Swim for the music
That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive.
You gotta swim,
And swim when it hurts.
The whole world is watching;
You haven't come this far,
To fall off the earth.

The currents will pull you
Away from your love,
Just keep your head above.

I swim for brighter days
Despite the absence of sun;
Choking on salt water,
I'm not giving in.

You gotta swim
For nights that won't end.
Swim for your families,
Your lovers, your sisters,
And brothers and friends.
Yeah, you gotta swim
For wars without cause,
Swim for the lost politicians,
Who don't see their greed as a flaw.

The currents will pull us.
Away from our love,
Just keep your head above,

You gotta swim,
Swim in the dark;
There's no shame in drifting,
Feel the tide shifting and wait for the spark.
Yeah you gotta swim,
Don't let yourself sink,
Just find the horizon.
I promise you it's not as far as you think.

-Andrew McMahon

it's a wonderful life...

I am sincerely satisfied. Completely content. Honestly happy. (How's that for alliteration? At 1 in the morning no less). Life is really fantastic. And even though it may seem to take a while, I know our prayers are answered. Each and every one. Every single solitary prayer.

If we do what we are supposed to do, things will all work out.

I love cheesecake. And music. And the church. And best friends.

Living Full Out

I absolutely love i am that girl. It's a company that works to empower women, and they have a blog that I love to check out.

read here:  i am that girl

Today's post was by the founder, Alexis Jones, and it really got me thinking. I love this:
        
          "We have just one lifetime to make it count, to write our own greatest adventure novel, to chase down our wildest dreams, to surround ourselves with truly phenomenal people, to love with reckless abandon and to live with enthusiasm and passion, all while reveling in a state of endless possibility. One. Life. Just one hand with all the chips on the table."


When it comes to my friends and family, there is absolutely nothing I would not do. Nothing matters more than relationships. And I have truly wonderful friends. But as far as the rest of it...reckless abandon is not something I have ever experienced, even on my craziest days, and especially with love. And while I have been trying my hardest, I definitely can't say that I live with "enthusiasm and passion" all the time. But I guess I need to. What better way to make the most of this one life we have to live? Nothing is worse than those pesky "what if?" thoughts. And who wants to live with regrets? Not me, that's for sure. Because I already over-think things. And think about them...for ever...and ever...and ever. So no thanks.

So here's to making the most of life. Enjoying every second. Smiling, laughing. Loving. And trying "reckless abandon" on for size.

The Good Old Days

I was talking to my brother the other day (which, let me tell you, is noteworthy in itself. Since sometimes I forget I have a brother because I NEVER see him). I was asking him stuff about school and his life, and he said, "Why do you want to know all this? Want to go back to your good old days?" I told him, "Heck no! I  didn't like high school while I was in high school. And I never had 'good old days.'" I meant that sort of as a joke, until I realized it was true. I never really had "good old days." A lot of people can look back on their lives and pinpoint a time when everything was easy, when everything was going well, and when they were perfectly happy and carefree. Well...I can't. The first few years of elementary school were great, but once I hit 3rd grade it was rough. Junior high was just horrific. Seriously. That was such an awkward and difficult time--and when I finally was excited about something, it just was a heartbreak (the boy I had a crush on, an 8th grader!, told me he liked me and wanted to "go out" with me. Until he found out I was Mormon. Which has become a trend in my life. But that's a story for another time.) That doesn't seem like a huge deal now, but it was then. My parents divorced, and I struggled with depression and health problems that no one could seem to figure out. I wasn't sure about my testimony. Frankly, I wasn't sure about much of anything. And in high school, I was still sick and still fat. Senior year it finally started to get better. But I still can't say high school was the "good old days."


So that's a little sad and kind of depressing. But I have decided to make college, now, my life NOW, the "good old days." Everything is slowly getting better. I'm 40 pounds lighter (and counting) and seem to be feeling better on most days. I am enjoying learning at a higher level and enjoying my independence. I am loving institute and my ward, and I am finally strengthening my testimony. Eventually I will realize the purpose of my crazy and somewhat difficult life, and I know that it has made it possible for me to flourish right now, at a time when so many I know are starting to lose their way. So...I am going to make these days, right NOW, the time that I look back on with happiness and gratitude.

Spring Break!

It's spring break! Finally. And I'm home with the family. It's pretty wonderful. I'm going to spend the week catching up with old friends and getting a tan. Flagstaff has made me too white, almost translucent--I think they were picking up something in space yesterday. So I need to change that.

"Fortify yourself with contentment, for this is an impregnable fortress." -Epictetus


I heard this quote from my best friend, Lakshmi. It's just one that makes you think......


And it's probably true. But why is it so hard? Why is it easier to recognize the bad stuff, the things we don't like? So my mom told me it would be a good idea to start a gratitude journal. I don't think I'll get a separate one--just add it to my journal already. 


But here's a few things I'm grateful for: